You always see videos of the passengers running to the ship that is departing, waiving their hands frantically as if it is an easy thing just to dock once again. Ships are on a schedule, and so are all of the people working at the port. By the time they have determined to leave you behind, they have already offloaded your passports to the port agent who will wait to assist you. If you have the means, you can fly into the next port to rejoin, but a lot of people fly back to the home port and wait for their luggage. The cruise lines guarantee to wait for anyone who is on a ship based excursion, but if you were not, you are out of luck. There are even exceptions to this rule. If the cruise line knows that the excursion passengers will be too late and it will affect the time it takes to get into the next port (the cost and safety to speed the ship up is taken into consideration), then the cruise line will put you up in a hotel and fly you back to meet the ship. The cost will be on them and not on you.
However, those people weren't really kicked off the ship. They were just unfortunate.
Here are some true stories of people that the Captain (who makes the final call) has opted to give the boot to in the years gone by. And a little trigger warning, some of them are actually kind of scary.
1. Going into restricted areas. A couple of young adults were caught in one of the coolers in the kitchen. This is a huge health and safety violation which cruise lines are held to such high standards for. It's also a restricted crew only area. They were removed the next day in port.
2. Trying (successfully and then getting caught, and you will get caught. There is always a snitch and there are 24 hour surveillance cameras everywhere) to go to the Crew Bar. A passenger was given a warning, but when he returned the second night, he was sent home.
3. Stealing. The gift shop also has cameras watching and a thief won't get the round trip. This can also apply to trying to scam the system with the drink packages for example. However, a lot of the time warnings are given out as people play ignorant. It depends on the severity, but it's not worth the risk.
4. Having "relations" in a public area, although sometimes people get away with this on the Nude Cruises (you still aren’t supposed to). If you are not on a chartered nude cruise, and especially if there are kids around, you won't get the finish you are hoping for. The balconies seem to be a grey area as the only people that can really get a good view are the surveillance teams and the bridge from those cameras that stare down the side of the ship.
5. Treating the crew abusively. You can only be so angry, and go so far before a Captain will intervene. Swearing at a crew member, or touching them in any way, has led to guests being sent home and even put into the ships jail until you reach port. This also goes for trying to solicit happy endings from spa crew. A Captain on a cruise line that will remain unnamed, used to read the guest log every morning, and meet with the Guest Relations Manager to address any unruly passengers. There was almost one to two "unplanned departures" per month. The Captain wants their crew to be safe, and this includes their mental wellbeing. Remember this the next time that you want to complain about your stateroom. Address it, just be kind.
6. Pooping in public spaces. Yes, believe it or not, there was a passenger who was pooping in the hallways where there are less cameras, and in corners of the pool deck. Coincidentally, he won $200,000 in the casino the night prior to disembarkation and he was caught on the last night, so he couldn't be kicked off. But you know what can bite you in the butt? The close relationship that the crew have with customs and immigration officials. You can imagine he waited a long time to get clearance on the last day of the cruise.
7. Fighting. This should go without saying, and yet you see YouTube clips go viral when passengers get into a brawl. There's no debating this, you will go home every time.
8. Being too intoxicated to manage. Cruise lines want to keep pushing those drinks on you. However, if they determine that you have had enough and they cut you off, and you don't accept this, you may end up in the jail for the night. Keep it going every night of the cruise, and you will be flying with a hangover.
9.Dying. Sorry to bring up the topic, as it isn't pleasant. During some crew contracts, they experience a passenger death onboard almost every cruise. It is typically elderly people, however there can be other reasons, such as accidents onboard or out on excursions. On a world cruise, a crew member reported 33 deaths between crew and guests over a 115 day period. Ship morgues have gotten bigger as the ships get bigger. The Captain and the Guest Relations Team has someone who specializes in getting in touch with the proper immigration teams in the ports of calls, to see where the body can be offloaded for autopsy if necessary. Sometimes, they will just remain in the morgue until the ship returns to the home port. It is a very difficult thing for the families that are left onboard, and for the crew who are handling it. You will rarely, if ever, hear the cruise lines talk about this. And who wants to... but there is one more morbid way to get kicked off and that is number 10.
10. Drug smuggling and attempted murder. Guests were caught with cocaine in their room after leaving Colombia and a fight broke out in the stateroom. A much younger passenger attacked the elderly male in the room, biting off his ear and a part of his cheek. The elderly male was helicopter evacuated under authorities supervision, and the other male and female in the room were held in the ships jail until the ship arrived back into Miami and the FBI came onboard to investigate. Drug smuggling has gotten a lot more difficult since the dogs were introduced and security measures have increased, but in some places, money talks... not enough to keep you from getting kicked off the ship though.
There are many more stories to share, but these are some of the more common ones. (Except attempted murder... we won't call that common. We also won't say it was a one time event!) After all, it feels like a bubble being onboard, but it is essentially, a floating city.
So be safe, be kind, and try to forget about 9 and 10 the next time you cruise.
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